Monday, March 11, 2013

It's the Year Of the Heirloom Grain!

What has two thumbs, crazy eyes, and an unrealistic sense of time restrictions ? This gal! It's nearly spring again, and I'm nearly out of my mind with excitement for garden prep. And just like every year, I begin with a burst of high enthusiasm and enormous destined-to-fail plans. This year's grand schemes are listed numerically below. Commentary by the lunatic that takes over my logic and reasoning abilities every spring follows.

1.) I will blog every week, even if it's just a paragraph to log what I've done. [This one is totally doable because I have so much spare time! I'm sure my disabled 9 year old and newborn infant will magically become completely self-sufficient every Sunday evening at the exact moment I sit down at my computer! No problem! And I'll even still find time to shower!!]

2.) I will fertilize all vegetables and perennials according to their individual specifications and requirement. [I don't know anything about fertilizing beyond randomly throwing compost on plants when I remember to. As long as you put a plant in dirt, it should grow - right?  But this year I'm going to be totally organized! I'm going to N-P-K the shit out of this place, and these plants won't know what hit them! They will be happy and healthy and wildly productive, and I will be the best gardener ever. EVER!!!]

3.) I will plant and grow my own heirloom wheat and make homemade bread out of it. [OK! Even my enthusiastic looney-toon self knows that this is just batshit crazy. But why not? Why shouldn't I try? I'm almost forty, and not getting any younger. The time to do weird shit is now, and I believe this goal qualifies.]

Go ahead, laugh. I certainly am. I, too, observe myself with a detached bemusement, having seen myself pull this stunt time and time again. But I fully embrace the silliness and hope of March while preemptively forgiving myself for not following through. I'm sure someone/everyone has said this better, but if we don't have hope, what do we have? And who knows - one of these years, I just might go ahead and kick some ass, just as I intended. Better stay tuned to see if 2013 is that year.

And so to fulfill goal #1 for the week -

Accomplished this week:

  • Started herb seeds in the greenhouse in Earth Boxes. Box #1, all basils: Genovese, Sweet, Lemon, Greek, Lime & Dark Opal. Box #2: Cilantro, Chervil, Summer Savory, Watercress.
  • Cut back grapes.
  • Ordered specialty seeds: Lacinato Kale, Imperial Star Artichoke, Red Garnet Amaranth, Red Head Quinoa.
To-do:
  • Start indoor seeds, especially tomatoes and peppers.
  • Prune roses
  • Finish garden and perennial bed clean up.
  • Fertilize asparagus, blueberries & hydrangea.
  • Rebuild collapsed raised beds (hear that, Tommy?)
Goals number two and three require more research so more on those later. I would include a picture of the current state of disrepair of the vegetable beds but the baby is crying. Yep, this is totally going to work just fine!

Laura




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The Big Bad Blog Beginning: Marketing Gone Awry

So awhile back, I was talking to my home business and web marketing diva. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "Big deal! Everybody has a home business and web marketing diva." Maybe so, but if you're not talking to Dina at http://www.wordfeeder.com/, then you've got the wrong gal.

Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."

"Really? How come?"

She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.

I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?

And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).

That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.

So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....