I can't conclude 2008 without poking a tiny bit more fun of Joyce. Out of fairness though, I have to admit that we're quite a bit alike. So here you go - a little bit of even steven if you will....
Joyce's Tale... Why Mothers and Urban Vernacular Don't Mix: An Email Exchange
The story begins after a painful email discussion regarding which, if any, bread products should accompany Thanksgiving dinner. For the sake of every one's sanity, those particular emails are not included.
Joyce: "I could tell yesterday that you were getting annoyed with me over the bread/rolls thing but I kept it up just to tease you!"
Me: "see? you're just as annoying as dad. but at least you know you're being annoying. as a status on my facebook page, i wrote "laura is going to kill her mother", but too many people commented in your defense. well, really it was 50/50. then i later wrote that i changed my mind due to the pro-joyce comments, and my friend jim from college wrote "she rocked in our creative writing course. totally rocked. mad props." you have a lot of fans."
Joyce: "Wow!!! I'm impressed that one of your friends would remember me from a class in the first place let alone even remember the props I used. Apparently, they impressed him more than me."
Me: "'mad props' means something like 'kudos'. i doubt you showed up to that class in your mink coat and groucho marx glasses, or juggling pins, or anything like that. pretty funny though. i laughed for about five minutes after your email."
Joyce: "No--really I did use props. I think he might be referring to my speech about twins bec. I brought your sisters to class with me."
Laura's Tale ... Married People Talking
I am a multi-tasker from hell, and I tend to believe that I am rather good at it. Yesterday I put Sophia to bed, realized I hadn't eaten in 9 hours, and set about making myself a plate of some lovely stew that my wonderful husband made. But it was going on 9, and my mind started rattling on to everything I had to do before bed ... finish cleaning the kitchen ... start that new glass order ... call jen ... isn't pick-up artist 2 on tonight? gotta watch then call jen after .... what's in this stuff i'm eating anyway?
Me, to Tom, while slamming stuff in and out of the microwave: "Is there meat in this pork?"
Tom, confused: "Wha-?"
Me, using my annoyed outside voice: "Is there MEAT in this PORK??"
Tom, hesitantly sarcastic: "Uh .... yes ... there's meat in the pork."
Me, extremely offended: "Well you don't have to say it all snotty like that, it's a legitimate question!"
Tom, exasperated and close to giving it all up for good: "I don't know what you MEAN."
Me, making it known I am speaking to someone of inferior intellect: "What I MEAN, is that when you cooked the MEAT, did you leave the .... uh .... are there bones in this pork?"
Perhaps I am not the multi-tasker I claim to be, and should attempt to concentrate on one thing at a time. Or I can just become a vegetarian so I no longer have to be concerned about what's in the pork.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
The Big Bad Blog Beginning: Marketing Gone Awry
So awhile back, I was talking to my home business and web marketing diva. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "Big deal! Everybody has a home business and web marketing diva." Maybe so, but if you're not talking to Dina at http://www.wordfeeder.com/, then you've got the wrong gal.
Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."
"Really? How come?"
She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.
I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?
And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).
That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.
So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....
Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."
"Really? How come?"
She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.
I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?
And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).
That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.
So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....
.jpeg)
No comments:
Post a Comment