Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Go Ahead, Anger the Snow Gods - Grow Lemongrass As a Houseplant

Since just muttering the verb form of the word “garden” seems to result in a massive snow assault hailing from our angsty northeastern skies these days, I’m going to have to go ahead and change the name of that act for the purposes of this article. Instead of covering topics related to doing-that-thing-where-you-put- seeds- in- the- ground, I’m going to discuss safer subjects until St. Patrick’s Day when I can hopefully push the snow aside and behave-in- a- supportive- manner- so- as- to- help- small- plants- get- big. You see, if the angry snow monsters who live in the sky think we have lost all hope of ever seeing green grass again, maybe they will think they have won and will relax long enough to take naps, or play a round of dominoes, or do ANYTHING AT ALL other than cause weather forecasters to invent new and creative words to describe way too damn much snow.

That brings me to one of my favorite winter activities – buying lemongrass from the grocery store or Asian food market, using what you need for your recipe, and turning the rest into a houseplant. Lemongrass is, you guessed it, a grassy full-sun plant that grows in zones 9-11 and is essential to Thai cooking. Although it's a bit exotic for your average grocery store, you can find it sold as a somewhat dried stalk in Asian food markets or specialty stores.


Try to buy the freshest stalks with lots of green color and thick bottoms. Even though it looks a bit dried and dead when you buy it, peeling off the outer grass layers will reveal small growth nodes at the base of the plant. All you have to do is use those outermost layers for cooking, trim down the top of the stalk, pop it in a glass of water for a few weeks and wait until a decent root systems establishes. Move it to a pot with a drain hole and indoor potting soil. That’s it! In our zone 6 weather, you can keep it as a houseplant until summer, and then move it to your deck ... or you can even do-that-thing-where-you-dig-a-whole-and-then-take-the-plant-and-put-it-in-there!



DISCLAIMER: My cats take to lemongrass like a frat boy to a keg of Milwaukee's Best. Unless you feel like cleaning up after a feline that can't hold down his or her own herbal refreshments, I suggest you keep your plant out of harm's way.



Here's my hopeful lemongrass with a backdrop of angry snow monster wrath:




And here's my two year old plant, which got started the same way in winter I moved it outside for the summer when I did- that- thing- that- we- all- know- but- won't- be- discussing, and then moved it back inside for the winter.




So go ahead and turn your groceries into plants. Thanks for reading, and happy you-know-what!



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The Big Bad Blog Beginning: Marketing Gone Awry

So awhile back, I was talking to my home business and web marketing diva. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "Big deal! Everybody has a home business and web marketing diva." Maybe so, but if you're not talking to Dina at http://www.wordfeeder.com/, then you've got the wrong gal.

Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."

"Really? How come?"

She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.

I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?

And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).

That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.

So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....