Well, no. Not exactly.
Organic gardening is a lot of things these days. For some it's a part of a spiritual belief system that includes nature as a life force. For others it's about getting the highest quality and best variety of food possible. And in today's "greener than thou" culture, it might even be considered trendy and a potentially good business investment. However, very few conversations start with "I planted peppers today, and it was hysterical! Ho ho ho! Just thinking about it cracks me up - hold on, hold on, I need to sit down. I think I just peed a little."
OK, so maybe the act of putting a plant in the ground is meaningful, and not funny. But you know what is funny? Slowly losing your ground while straining to hold up a toppling cage of 2x4's housing your prize heirloom tomatoes, hoping beyond hope that your husband will notice your absence and just LOOK OUT THE FREAKING WINDOW!!!! Or finding yourself shouting obscenities after a groundhog, who is waddling away at full speed in his attempt to shake the crazy lady in mud boots and parachute pants (please find yourself a groundhog and shout at it in order to see just what 'waddling at full speed' looks like). Or taking large amounts of time to set up your new expensive anti-critter-motion-detector-water-squirter-thingy...and then forgetting to shut it off before you go in the garden. Or giving human names and elaborate life histories to the variety of creatures who frequent your vegetable patch (if my high school AP English teacher Mrs. Timms finds herself reading this, that's a little bit of anthropomorphism for you, lady!).
Let's face it. Even for a good gardener, taking a small patch of earth and remodeling it after your own vision is nearly impossible. Mother Nature will light up a clove cigarette, put on her ergonomically sound shoes, and happily stomp all over your parade. Add to that issue a gardener with a tendency towards laziness and procrastination, and when things actually DO work, it's mostly a happy accident. But I'm all about the happy accidents and am willing to lose to Mother Nature most of the time to get them. Plus when stuff doesn't work, well, that's just another funny story for you at my expense. And YOU are welcome!
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The Big Bad Blog Beginning: Marketing Gone Awry
So awhile back, I was talking to my home business and web marketing diva. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "Big deal! Everybody has a home business and web marketing diva." Maybe so, but if you're not talking to Dina at http://www.wordfeeder.com/, then you've got the wrong gal.
Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."
"Really? How come?"
She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.
I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?
And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).
That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.
So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....
Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."
"Really? How come?"
She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.
I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?
And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).
That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.
So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....
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3 comments:
You know that I will only "organically" garden when I actually grow things that will go in my kids' bodies....but I will read, somewhat religiously, since I have been begging you to write for years! Thanks so much for finally getting something out "there" that we can all enjoy (and the laughter at your expense, just a bonus!) I LOVE YOU, LADY! Just make sure you add Francois recipe for jasmine rice with lemongrass and thai coconut sauce! I will be forever grateful!
I'm reading your blog -- at WORK -- giggling like a maniac. Tom (aka Ray) DiGangi actually interrupted his conversation with Darlene to ask if I was laughing at him. I pretended I wasn't. I'm helpless with laughter and shall disappear into the bathroom shortly (a side effect of laughing) to giggle some more about Sunny Baudelaire and being stuck in conversation about Darfur when your mind is in the mud. Thank you!!! deb
Hey Knott!
I just figured out why I hadn't noticed Joyce's Mother's Day Heist. Because for some reason the first post that you ever wrote is at the TOP of the blog? Why is that? Typically the posts go from most recent and work backwards... so all you have to do is visit the homepage to see the latest dish.
All right, now that I've acclimated to the Backwards Blog, I'm going to dig in with some morning amusement. Thanks for providing. Also - Hi Kathy!
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