What's a zone 6 gardener to do in the dead of winter? Good gardeners read new plant books, clean and organize tools, and start shopping from the deluge of seed catalogues that start arriving the second the ball drops. I plan on doing all that too. Soon. But January gardening prep for me is generally comprised of cockamamie schemes and elaborate plans; Thanks to nature, I don't actuallly have to DO anything. Why not take advantage of the vacation time, and turn to other topics?
Forever on my to-do list is this line: "Make natural beauty treatments and home remedies." It's always on the list but I never get around to doing it during prime gardening season. This year might be different though, due to a combination of the plants I bought last year at Well Sweep Herb Farm and my subscription to Herb Companion Magazine. Unfortunately, my herb garden is asleep and I want to start my project now. Thanks to Shop Rite and my love of Mexican food, I finally made my first official home beauty treatment with hilarious, disgusting and ultimately positive results.
Avocado Moisture Scrub
(from "The Herbal Home Spa" by Greta Breedlove)
2-3 fresh avocado pits
1 C. water, milk or yogurt
(makes 1 treatment)
I let the pits air dry for a few days, then gave them a few good whacks with a meat mallet. From there I moved them to our regular food processor for a rough grind, and then a spice mill for a finer grind. I think you could go right to the spice mill from the smashing, if you like. Mix the avocado pits with the base of your choice, and you have yourself an exfoliating, moisturizing face and body scrub. Apply, leave on for 10 minutes, and wash off. Those are the basic instructions from the book. But let me tell you exactly how it worked for me, as well as some important lessons learned.
One, unless you like freezing temperatures, let the stuff come up to room temperature before application. Second, please note that this is a gloopy mess, and prepare accordingly. Third, it turns out that, at least for the variety I purchased, avocado pits become orange once pureed. Perhaps you can see where I'm going with this.
I started out applying the scrub as a face mask while over the sink. Not good. Giant orange gloop drops all over the sink. So I threw a towel down and continued, but to no avail. The gloop had migrated beyond the towel and was leaving orange splotches on the rug and floor. I hopped into the tub (where I should have been in the first place) and resumed scrubbing the arms and legs. The entire tub area promptly became a full fledged mess with orange splatters on the floor and wall; The tracks left by my moving feet made it look like someone has been naked wrestling with the Great Pumpkin. However, there was no turning back at this point as I was almost completely orange by then and busy wondering just how long ten minutes actually is. I probably lasted most of the ten minutes, and the shower afterward was a sweet reward ... although that water seemed to be moving down the drain awfully slowly. Ah, yes. One of those plastic drain covers would have been in order PRIOR to the water being run. Time to look on the bright side: the drain was always slow, the bathroom needed to be cleaned anyway, and this is some good blog fodder.
As I observed my orange path of destruction across the bathroom, I came to the following assessment: It was worth it. The scrub was amazingly soft for an exfoliator and putting it on was like getting a lumpy massage. I hate those sugar body scrubs because they feel like they are just scratching the skin. It really really worked as a moisturizer too, and it would probably make a great hair mask. And since I can't find any other use for an avocado pit except sprouting it to make a houseplant, it's a perfect solution for using an unusable item. In the future, I believe I will halve the recipe and use it as a hair/hand/face mask instead of a full body scrub disaster.
Am I daunted by being forced into cleaning a bathroom I had no desire to clean? Am I giving up my DIY pharmacy dreams? No! There's a whole internet full of weirdos just like me dishing out recipes for this kind of stuff. And if you are one of those weirdos and have a homemade concoction for me to try, email me at laurasglassart@verizon.net.
Monday, January 25, 2010
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The Big Bad Blog Beginning: Marketing Gone Awry
So awhile back, I was talking to my home business and web marketing diva. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "Big deal! Everybody has a home business and web marketing diva." Maybe so, but if you're not talking to Dina at http://www.wordfeeder.com/, then you've got the wrong gal.
Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."
"Really? How come?"
She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.
I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?
And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).
That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.
So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....
Since I have the right gal, Dina said, "You should start a blog to help promote your website."
"Really? How come?"
She then said something along the lines of "Hoogety boogety search engine optimization foogety moogety page hierarchy loogety toot toot meta-tags and strategic links...." and many other extremely smart things. Please keep in mind Dina has never actually said "hoogety boogety" to me in any context. What she did do was give me a brief explanation of web marketing that made complete sense, but the wisdom of which I would completely mangle upon retelling. The relevant gist was as follows - a blog, when properly done, can be a great tool to drive traffic to my website.
I mulled this over for quite some time. Could I write clear and informative articles about the decorative painting business? Er, sure, I think. New techniques, preferred paint and brush brands, offers of free templates.....Ooh, but how bout the funny fellow painter ladies I see at my teacher's studio? Or the nutjobs who I meet at craft shows?
And then I started thinking about other humorous stuff, like the time my mother swiped HER mother's mother's day gift from me and refused to give it back. And the stories from my grandfather about the 8-10 different ways he's accidentally electrocuted himself throughout the years, and yet still stands. Or about the time I spent half a day convinced that drunk people snuck into my yard during the night and dug up 48 newly planted impatiens (until I realized a deer ate them).
That's about the point that I realized that I actually want a blog to show the world how hilarious I am, and if I can throw some web marketing in there, so be it. I can make it work. For example, the two funniest things I do are 1.) garden organically 2.) allow people to speak to me. Since I paint flowers and creatures and landscapes, does it count as web marketing if I blog about growing flowers in a landscape while shouting obscenities at creatures? You betcha! And when my mother does something bizarre, should that go in there too? Absolutely. Ah, yes. Yet another blog is born.
So in the end, I will market my website the way I organic garden - seek out the advice of experts, change it all around, and find myself continually shocked when my system doesn't work. Effective? No. Funny? Oh yes indeed! Keep reading.....
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